I13DT: A Different Kind of Hero Worship

by **Will Stanton** » Tue May 27, 2014 3:49 pm

"Exactly--it's a place where you're in control, yet not TOTALLY in control. Where the consequences are what you decide, and no more..." Will said, scratching his chin again.

by **Samantha McManus** » Tue May 27, 2014 4:54 pm

"So admittedly, that's mostly where I let myself just... be that."

by **Will Stanton** » Tue May 27, 2014 4:56 pm

"Is that something you...do in private?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Tue May 27, 2014 4:57 pm

"Well as you said, not everyone would understand."

by **Will Stanton** » Tue May 27, 2014 5:01 pm

"...Are you ashamed of it? At all?" Will said, hesitantly.

by **Samantha McManus** » Tue May 27, 2014 5:20 pm

"I understand that it's... a bit against the grain, and that I have to present a more professional side of myself."

by **Will Stanton** » Tue May 27, 2014 5:22 pm

Will nodded, again. "9-5 Professor McManus, 5-9 the Morrigan, then?" Will said, his mind not on war goddesses and their office hours.

by **Samantha McManus** » Tue May 27, 2014 5:25 pm

"...something like that."

by **Will Stanton** » Tue May 27, 2014 5:31 pm

"It must be...hard...to not let it bleed into one another. Is there something I could...

...I mean, surely, you must sometimes find it difficult to...

...I sit at my desk sometimes, and I'm not thinking of doing work. You must have similar problems, right?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 12:35 pm

"Oh, I can't deny that happens sometimes."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 12:40 pm

"How do you handle it? I mean, if you were to..war goddess it up...and someone walked in here, wouldn't you be mortified?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 12:41 pm

"Well I don't act upon it for the most part. It just... puts me in a certain mood, I suppose."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 12:44 pm

"Hrm," Will nodded. "I understand. That whole...separation thing. Scheduling.

You must get home and, I dunno, punch someone in the face, or whatever it is you do."

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:00 pm

"There's... unwinding."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:03 pm

Will paused for a moment.

"Would it be alright if I...sort of shadowed you for a bit? I need help trying to balance things in my OWN life, and you seem to have it down pretty pat...

..Plus it would help me understand more about the kind of things you do. Understanding is key to not judging, right?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:07 pm

She quirks a brow.

"Shadow me how, precisely?"

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:17 pm

"Well...

Look at this way. You are, on top of all other things, queen of compartmentalization. You can apparently be quote-unquote normal half the time, and let it all hang out the other half.

I'm having real trouble with this--I just freaked out a friend and a potential new friend. I also scared my wife with my reaction to the whole Phoenix thing, and I've noticed Kevin giving me odd looks as well. I'm hoping that, maybe, if I watch you, I can get some kind of...understanding on how you're able to keep things separate.

I mean, being a war goddess and being a muffin aren't THAT far apart, are they?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:23 pm

"...so you're telling me that Altamira wasn't entirely off the reservation."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:27 pm

"Had things gone differently," Will began, carefully...

A telepath could tell that the next part of this sentence was being started, discarded, and restarted rapidly in Will's head as he searched for the right words.

"Think about you letting loose in the danger room. You're creating a space in which you can let loose, in a safe manner. You ensure that it's people you can trust, in a scenario with enough...uncontrollable qualities to make it exciting, but you know the parameters going in..." he tried to explain, via analogy, poorly.

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:28 pm

"Aye. The issue was more that she didn't ask, wouldn't you say?"

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:29 pm

"Well, surprises are always nice...but yeah. There has to be an implicit trust. You wouldn't bring anyone into your danger room that you thought would make it go wrong, right?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:36 pm

"But if it had been a prior arrangement, even one where she was to surprise you, it would have been better, aye?"

"It seems to me that what you want is a safe word, almost."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:36 pm

"That makes this sound super sexual," Will said, obviously uncomfortable at the thought.

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:38 pm

"Do you disagree that the principles are similar?"

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:41 pm

This was obviously a subject Will had trouble resolving. "I just...it can often be an emotional, exciting experience. Imagine if you had to explain to Professor Weaver that, oh, you need a safe word because it feels so good, but don't worry, because you're still a one-woman lady..." Will rambled.

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:53 pm

"Think of it more that you want the situations to seem spontaneous, as if they were real, but there's an understanding that you can stop when you like."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:57 pm

"It just...it's intimate enough as it IS. If I have to explain these things to people in terms if safe words...well, you'd run as far as you can, wouldn't you?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 1:59 pm

"You want to assure people that this isn't harming you or causing you distress, aye?"

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:00 pm

"But also that this isn't..." Will said, struggling to find words.

"I'm not trying to get my jollies off here, really, I'm not..."

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:00 pm

"I'm not saying that you are, Will."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:03 pm

"Well, that makes one of us," Will admitted. "It's hard to explain, via analogy. It just feels...I dunno. Not serene, but like, serenity's inverse?" he said, gesturing to try to explain it in words.

"It feels right, but I'm afraid other people view it as wrong, to put it in five-year-old terms."

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:06 pm

"All I'm suggesting here are ways to control the situation, such that all involved can settle in at their own comfort levels."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:07 pm

Will nodded. "I'm gonna have to find a different way to describe it though, or my wife's gonna kill me."

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:08 pm

"Unless you can convince her to be the first to try this with you?"

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:10 pm

"Mmm," Will said, non-committedly. "Perhaps."

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:15 pm

"Of anyone, you trust her, aye?"

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:17 pm

"Well, of course I do. She's just...she doesn't REALLY understand. And she's spooked by Black Air, and by Melpomene.

That's why, uh, I've been doing a little, erm, training with Cap...Janice. You know, X-Team style 'be prepared for any eventuality'...stuff."

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:21 pm

"Then that's another person you can trust, it seems."

by **Will Stanton** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:25 pm

Will nodded. "Yeah, though I've been couching in all these excuses, and she's seemed hesitant at the best of times. What if I spill my guts out to her, and she decides I'm just some freak?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Wed May 28, 2014 2:27 pm

"There comes a time when you've just got to be honest with the people you care about."

"They're guaranteed to not understand if you hide it."

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