Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:55 am

RIKER UNDER SUSPICION

Not a fan of the false rape accusation narrative. At all.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Dec 21, 2013 3:05 am

This episode is good for two things: Picard hating kids, and Troi saying "I'm of no use her, captain"

TNG 4x04: Suddenly Human, or ENDARS SOHN

<Picard> "You kids and your rock music!"

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Dec 21, 2013 3:10 am

Yes, very funny, sir. I still don't get it.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:02 am

In this episode, we all learn a valuable lesson about stalking people on the internet.

TNG 4x16: Galaxy's Child, or DIE BEGEGNUNG IM WELTRAUM

Oh, Geordi, you...creep.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:03 am

ENCOUNTER IN SPACE (Really? That's the most generic episode name possible.)

Hooooly crap that took a turn for the terrible at the end. Also, Radioactive-Space-Whale-Baby!

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:50 am

Star Trek goes CONTROVERSIAL

TNG 5x17: The Outcast, or VERBOTENE LIEBE

Riker found a pocket of null space.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:59 am

That was... surprisingly good. Could have cast some men as well, I guess, if I had to find something to nitpick? Really solid LGBT-message episode.

by **Ayami Morita** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 2:43 am

Really good, huh? Liked it, did you?

BAM HORRIBLENESS
TNG 5x21: The Perfect Mate, or EINE HOFFNUNGSLOSE ROMANZE

Hah! Take that, expectations of quality!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 2:44 am

That was, without a doubt, The Worst episode of Star Trek I have ever seen. Holy fuck.

by **Altamira Vazquez** » Sun Dec 22, 2013 3:20 am

She looks...familiar, somehow. Can't place my finger on it...

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:17 am

What's wrong with beaming? I'm sure beaming is perfectly safe.

TNG 6x02: Realm of Fear, or TODESANGST BEIM BEAMEN

Oh, Barclay. You're afraid of everything.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:18 am

FEAR OF DEATH WHILE BEAMING

Barclay, stop using Web MD.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:00 pm

Picard is gonna teach YOU a lesson...in love.

TNG 7x02: Liaisons, or INDISKRETIONEN

You know, if you had ASKED Worf to punch you, he would have obliged.

by **ASHLIE** » Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:01 pm

It was enjoyable to watch this episode about [concept]. Please tell me more about [concept].

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:03 am

Hey, look, LeVar Burton has eyes!

TNG 7x03: Interface, or DAS INTERFACE

So the Hera just, what, vanished?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:12 am

Well, goodbye Geordie's mom then? Maybe?

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:21 am

ALL the never-before-seen relations!

TNG 7x13: Homeward, or DIE OBERSTE DIREKTIVE

Man, cosmetic surgery ain't no thing in the future.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:29 am

Hey, Worf, don't take that scroll, there's literally one of those on the ship... You're... you're stealing what little is left of their history. Dude...

by **Altamira Vazquez** » Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:20 am

I don't see what's so weird about this episode.

TNG 7x17: Masks, or DER KOMET

I mean, everything logically follows.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:23 am

Forcing random passersby to reenact your nativity scene is kind of rude, dear.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:39 am

Oh boy, Alexander! I love Alexander.

TNG 7x21: Firstborn, or RITUS DES AUFSTEIGENS

Klingons: still dumb.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:41 am

RITE OF ASCENSION

Alexander + Time Travel + Dumb Klingon Shit = Terrible Episode.
I loved how Picard decided to fuck off to some archeological dig at the first sign of Klingon bullshit and let Riker deal with that.

Red Shirt Count: 420
Actual Death Count: 32
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 40 (+1 Hi Quark! Bye Quark!)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 135
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 2:11 am

Woo! Animated series! Woo! Animated..ed...ness.

TAS 1x15: The Eye of the Beholder, or AUF DER SUCHE NACH ÜBERLEBENDEN

Spock, it's no good calling it a century if you don't know how long that is.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 2:14 am

Woo! We can do weird aliens we couldn't do as live action! *episode is 60% stillshots*

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:02 am

Alright, enough animation. Time for some Seska action! We've managed to avoid all that up UNTIL now, but yeah. Seksanation.

VOY 1x11: State of Flux or DER VERRAT

Oh. Boy. The. Kazon. Are. Here.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:06 am

Well the Kazon are dumb. Seska however kind of has a point.

Red Shirt Count: 420
Actual Death Count: 32
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 134 (-1 Bye Seska)
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:44 am

You know how some series go to the 'evil twin' well when they're out of ideas? This is season ONE.

VOY 1x14: Faces, or VON ANGESICHT ZU ANGESICHT

SEASON ONNNNNNNNE

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:52 am

Holy shitballs, this sure was something. I don't know which was worse, extracting DNA leading to splitting Torres in two? Or Maybe Paris listening to her pouring her heart out about racism and her childhood and answering with "Well at least you got what you wanted. You look human now. :V " Chipotle infiltrating the base for absolutely no fucking reason and arriving just in time for Torres to solve the situation by herselves? The away team going "Ooh, there's something here. Run away immediately!" Or maybe Human Torres being a frightened weakling because apparently that's what you are when you're not part Klingon? I think in the end I'll have to go with Torres pouring her heart out again at the end and Chipotle just walking away, turning around as if to say something afterall and then going "Ah fuck it." and walking out because it just perfectly encapsulates Voyager as a whole. No one really gave enough of a shit to do anything with it that wasn't mostly stupid and they just kinda went "Whatever."

Red Shirt Count: 421 (+1 Oh no, Durst, you were such an integral pa--ah fuck it.)
Actual Death Count: 33 (+1 Torres? I guess? Sort of?)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 133 (-1 Redshirt, +1 Torres, -1 Torres)
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:03 am

Wait...you're telling me this entire thing happened on an internet roleplaying board?

VOY 2x03: Projections, or DAS HOLO-SYNDROM

That's not true....that's impossible!

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:04 am

"What is that? You're saying I'm a real person and I need to destroy the Lighthouse to free myself?"

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:48 am

Oh no, Seska!

VOY 2x11: Maneuvers, or DAS SIGNAL

So. Pregnant with Chakotay's baby, huh?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:52 am

I liked Seska better when she was just subtly evil and backstabbing. This was just ridiculous and insane. Also, why didn't they beam her into the brig while they were there?

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 30, 2013 2:39 am

Oh boy, Seska!

VOY 2x14: Alliances, or ALLIANZEN

It's Jane-Way or the HIGHWAY, mister.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 30, 2013 2:44 am

I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson today. Janeway is always right and don't you forget it.

Red Shirt Count: 424 (+3 random people)
Actual Death Count: 33
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -24 (-3 wasted torpedoes)
People: 130 (-3 Redshirts)
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:15 am

Star Trek gets it's Hannibal?

VOY 2x16: Meld, or GEWALT

You wouldn't like Tuvok when he's angry.

by **Melpomene** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:20 am

Yes, mind-melding with a sociopath seems like quite the dreadful idea, don't you agree, Sammy?

Red Shirt Count: 425 (+1 random dude)
Actual Death Count: 33
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -24
People: 129 (-1 Redshirt)
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:07 am

B'lanna only gets episodes where she talks to herself.

VOY 2x17: Dreadnaught, or DER FLUGKÖRPER

Wait, so Torres can make a defense system that can't be defeated by any weapons? Why does Voyager get shot at so much!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:11 am

Everyone needs two Officers to initiate self-destruct except on Janeway's ship, where Janeway's word is the word of god.

Red Shirt Count: 425
Actual Death Count: 33
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -31 (-7 entirely useless torpedoes)
People: 129
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:14 am

Oh no, Seska!

VOY 2x19: Lifesigns, or LEBENSANZEICHEN

And then...SHE WAS A SKELTON

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:17 am

Awkward holo-love and patchwork-skin. Oh and lazy Janeway not feeling like doing any Captaining this week.

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