Regan and Kay's Room: The Maldon Murals

[Regan Rourke]

Regan hovered in front of the wall she was going to paint, sketching out some design ideas on her sketchpad.

[Kay Haddock]

"Got anything cool in mind?" Kay asks from where she's lieing on her bed, looking up from her laptop.

[Regan Rourke]

"Yeah, a whole lotta nothing," Regan says with a sigh, "How's you comic coming?"

[Kay Haddock]

"Okay I guess. Still catching up on prettying up the archive but I'm almost done."

[Regan Rourke]

"Awesome," Regan says, "How do you feel about murals of people on fire?"

[Kay Haddock]

She makes a face. "Please don't paint something super brutal on the wall..."

[Regan Rourke]

"You're right," Regan says, "Too commercial."

[Kay Haddock]

"Seriously, I don't wanna go to bed with blood-splatter looming on the wall." she chuckles.

[Regan Rourke]

"Just don't sleep," Regan says with a small grin, "That's what I do."

[Kay Haddock]

"I don't think I can do that. Hard enough to stay awake in class sometimes."

[Regan Rourke]

"You should hit up Scary Spice then," Regan says, "Apparently she's dealing."

[Kay Haddock]

"Yeah, the hell was up with that? She had, like, half a pharmacy in her purse."

[Regan Rourke]

"If I had to guess? Daddy issues," Regan says, "At least, that's what I'd guess by the way she dresses."

[Kay Haddock]

"Where does she even get that stuff?"

[Regan Rourke]

"Probably a shady doctor," Regan says, "It's safer to have an actual prescription then to go shopping around for that sort of stuff."

[Kay Haddock]

"I'm just not gonna ask how you know that."

[Regan Rourke]

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," Regan says.

[Kay Haddock]

"Hey, uhm... can I ask you something?"

[Regan Rourke]

"Shoot," Regan says.

[Kay Haddock]

"How come you don't like talking about what happened before you died? It's okay if you don't wanna say! Just... you seem so sad all the time."

[Regan Rourke]

"There's nothing to talk about," Regan says, "Life was awful and then it was over. The end."

[Kay Haddock]

"Okay... Is that why you don't wanna try to get in touch with, like, the real world again?"

[Regan Rourke]

"Pretty much," Regan says, "Everyone here thinks that I'm frustrated or angry about losing my old life. I'm not. I had no friends, my parents were so hands-off they were pretty much absent, my siblings thought I was a freak, and I was constantly being harassed and shit on by everyone in my old school."

[Kay Haddock]

"Old lifes suck. But don't you want a new life?"

[Regan Rourke]

"I can't have a new life," Regan says, perhaps a bit more sharply then she intended, "I'm dead."

"Apparently, I'm the only one willing to accept that."

[Kay Haddock]

"If you were entirely dead you'd be gone. In heaven or wherever."

[Regan Rourke]

"You're right. I totally can build a new life for myself," Regan says, "Maybe I'll fall in love with someone I can't touch. That'd be great."

[Kay Haddock]

"Maybe you can learn how to touch things again... When Aisha first came to the school she was entirely invisible. Now you can see her sometimes!"

[Regan Rourke]

"Do you think that they can teach you how to look normal?" Regan snaps, "You're awfully goddamn hopeful when it comes to other people's problems. Why don't you try solving your own first?"

[Kay Haddock]

"Cause I can't!" she says, fighting back the tears. "Cause I'll never go back to looking normal, no matter how many people tell me I look just fine!"

[Regan Rourke]

Regan winces, looking away from Kay for a moment.

"...God damn it," Regan says, floating over to the girl, "Kay. I'm sorry."

[Kay Haddock]

"Yeah well you're right..." she sniffs, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Maybe I just wanna be happy for everybody else cause I can't be happy for myself."

[Regan Rourke]

Regan "sits" next to Kay, looking awkward.

"I...I'm scared, Kay," Regan says, "When you start talking about even having the chance at being able to touch stuff? It scares me a lot. Because if I get my hopes up and it all falls through, I don't think I can handle it."

[Kay Haddock]

"But what if you could and you just never try?" she sniffs, glad to tackle someone else's problem instead of her own.

[Regan Rourke]

"That'd suck," Regan admits, "But...I think I'd rather find some way to be happy with the way I am then just hope that things will change."

[Kay Haddock]

"Isn't that hard? What if it doesn't work..." she says, probably not talking about Regan's situation alone.

[Regan Rourke]

"I don't know," Regan says, "I'm not exactly full of answers, Kay. In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of fucked up. And I'm actually probably worse off than you actually realize."

Regan leans her head on Kay's shoulder, sighing.

"...How about this," Regan says, "We obviously don't like ourselves very much. So, I'll have confidence in you and you can have confidence in me. At least until we figure things out."

[Kay Haddock]

"O-okay..."

"You're not that fucked up anyway. You're just kind of an ass sometimes." she jokes weakly. "And it's not like I wanna be down on myself. I just don't know how to be happy with myself. It's so much easier to be happy for others."

[Regan Rourke]

"I'm plenty fucked up, trust me," Regan mumbles.

"It'll come. I think," Regan says, "Just try thinking about something else if you start feeling bad or something. I don't know."

"Maybe remember that you're awesome," Regan says, "I mean, no matter what else, you're nice, you're loyal to your friends, and you're prettier than you seem to think you are."

[Kay Haddock]

"Okay, okay. But you realize that means I'm not giving up on you, right?"