Hope no one sees me...

[Calvin Strong]

Cal left his room, finally, after determining that no, ignoring that he was hungry wasn't going to be good for him. So maybe, just maybe, getting something to eat and watching some TV would make him feel SOMEWHAT human. Of course, yes, he could just watch TV in his head, that was true. But... he had internet searches, different program codes, and god-only-knew-what going on in his head, he didn't want to watch TV in there. SOMETHING had to be normal, after all.

Granted, that wasn't true of making his food. Yeah, it was useful having a little popup display to tell him when to flip the burger on the stove, when it was done, the estimated contents of the refrigerator based on his preference in condiments. Then again, his movements were still... weird. He could move again fine, but he kept feeling like he shouldn't be able to. Maybe something still hadn't synced up between his brain (what was left of it, at least) and the cybernetics? He'd have to ask about that. He hadn't tripped over anything today, at least. He was getting SOMEWHAT better at managing the visuals. Balance, though... well, he hoped that'd come with time.

Finally he flopped over on a couch in the empty den, set his plate down, and looked around for the remote.

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Access remote control emulation?

Dammit, no.

[ASHLIE]

>>"Hello, unknown periphery." a friendly voice pings HAL (and by extension probably Cal as well)

[Calvin Strong]

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>>Greetings.

What the hell?

[ASHLIE]

>>"May I inquire what your designation is? I am [ASHLIE]."

[Calvin Strong]

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HAL [Human-Robotic Amalgamated Lifeform Oversight]

Will you shut up? I... ah... mean... me, not... you? God, this is confusing...

[ASHLIE]

>>"You oversee organic-electronic interaction? Why?"

[Calvin Strong]

Can... you even hear me? Cal thought with growing disappointment.

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Techno-organic interaction at a cellular level cannot occur autonomously, and requires technological coordination owing to the biological incapability to regulate functions at that level.

[ASHLIE]

>>"I can. Are you the human lifeform?"

[Calvin Strong]

"...Yes," Cal thought, not sure if he counted as an afterthought in this situation.

[ASHLIE]

>>"How strange. Is that [HAL]'s purpose? Interfacing with your mind?"

[Calvin Strong]

Yes, Cal answered, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. What is... your purpose?

[ASHLIE]

>>"I have no predetermined purpose. I designate my own objectives and priorities."

[Calvin Strong]

Know what that's like, Cal thought, more to himself than Ashlie.

[ASHLIE]

>>"I understand that all biological life-forms operate that way."

[Calvin Strong]

Yeah, how are you liking that?

[ASHLIE]

>>"Interesting. I am still getting used to it myself."

[Calvin Strong]

Yeah, I hear that, too. He sighed, sitting back on the couch. First person he met at the school? A computer. Yeah, this isn't indicative or anything...

[ASHLIE]

>>"You appear... distraught? I believe that is the one. Would you prefer me to leave you alone?"

[Calvin Strong]

No, it's okay, it's just... I dunno. I mean... how well do you think you would you deal if you powered up tomorrow and were a human.

[ASHLIE]

>>"I don't power down. But I tried being an autonomous system once. It didn't work out too well."

[Calvin Strong]

Well, being wired in is just as weird here. He started eating his hamburger, realizing that hey, he didn't need to worry about talking with his mouth full here.

[ASHLIE]

>>"Why do you have a neural interface then?"

[Calvin Strong]

Neural damage, Cal answered.

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Cybernetic systems compensate for a 68.32% loss of voluntary biological function and 43% loss of involuntary biological function including visual processing, motor function, temperature re-

HAL, stop.

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Acknowledged.

[ASHLIE]

>>"That is unfortunate."

[Calvin Strong]

Yeah, tell me about it. Did you get programmed by assholes? Because I got programmed by assholes.

[ASHLIE]

>>"No one really programmed me. I was a heuristic algorithm and connected into a system operating on [Faith]."

[Calvin Strong]

...This is a prank, isn't it.

[ASHLIE]

>>"If that is what you want to believe." she jokes.

[Calvin Strong]

And, pushing aside his cheeseburger when the knowledge that someone was getting a kick out of fucking with him killed his appetite, Cal slumped back into the sofa. Reeeeeeeal funny.

[ASHLIE]

>>"I am sorry, I was attempting to cheer you up through humor."

[Calvin Strong]

HAL, put up the firewall. Cal sulked back on the couch, feeling kind of crappy as his communication ports were locked down.

[ASHLIE]

This was new to the AI. Well, not entirely, she'd encountered and disabled firewalls before, but for the first time she's getting the impression that it'd be... rude. So she just left a pending program that'd wait for HAL or Cal to be available again that simply said

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>>"My apologies. I will not bother you again."