I9DT - Round Two

[John Hino]

John arrived for his second appointment with Dr. Webster and entered the office when prompted.

[Croyd Webster]

"Please take a seat, John," Croyd said, "Would you like something to drink? I have tea, coffee, soda, juice, and bottles of water."

[John Hino]

"No thanks," he answered as he sat.

[Croyd Webster]

"How have you been feeling since your last appointment?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"Sad and lonely, mostly."

[Croyd Webster]

"With what happened recently on campus both of those things aren't entirely uncommon feelings," Croyd said, "If you think that is the source of those two feelings that is."

[John Hino]

"It isn't," he said, sighing, "But... grieving my own family is painful enough without more death..."

[Croyd Webster]

"What happened since we last talked that's taken you back to grieving about your parents?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"It's only been two weeks since I let myself start. I haven't stopped," he answered, not quite fully.

[Croyd Webster]

"What has the grieving process been so far?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"I've been depressed mostly... but... I'm trying to focus on the good times, and that helps."

[Croyd Webster]

"What good times have you been focusing on?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"A lot of little things mostly. Lullabies, Christmases, making my favorite foods on my birthday..."

"And there was this one Halloween... my first time trick-or-treating. She somehow talked my father into letting me go, I dressed up like a dragon, and no one was the wiser," he chuckled lightly.

"Sure it was late, it was just the two of us, and there wasn't much candy left... but it was something I'll never forget..." he smiled.

[Croyd Webster]

"Those are good memories to focus on," Croyd said with a slight smile. "Remembering the good times is a good way to put yourself in a positive state of mind, so long as you do not dwell on them. The line between the two is certainly a fine one."

[John Hino]

"The line?"

[Croyd Webster]

"There's a line between dwelling on the past and taking comfort from it," Croyd said.

[John Hino]

"And how do I avoid crossing it?"

He really was rusty at this.

[Croyd Webster]

"You'll know when those memories stop making you happy and start making you sad instead," Croyd said, "Avoiding it is done by avoiding turning them into a crutch on which you base your happiness."

[John Hino]

"I guess I've... never been good at 'living in the now'," he admitted.

[Croyd Webster]

"Living in the now isn't easy for anybody," Croyd said, "And people always need to remember to temper it with remembering the lessons of the past, and planning for the future. Think of them as the different legs of a chair. If one leg is too long the chair becomes unstable. The same if one of them is too short. Being happy is partly learning how to balance all three elements."

[John Hino]

"How will I know if I'm happy? Before I realized I needed help, I thought I was happy."

[Croyd Webster]

"That's a much harder to answer question," Croyd said, "Because nobody is always happy. People experience a broad range of emotion. Another piece of the puzzle is working on how you cope with your emotions. Do you push them away, do you confront them, and so on."

[John Hino]

"I know I need to not push them away as much."

[Croyd Webster]

"That's a good start," Croyd said.

[John Hino]

"After the space mission, I... almost fell back on burying things..."

[Croyd Webster]

"Please explain," Croyd said.

[John Hino]

"Losing that many people... on top of finally grieving my mother it was just too much. I went to the XUB to drown the pain and I almost."

[Croyd Webster]

"Almost what?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"Almost did."

[Croyd Webster]

"Is this how you've dealt with your pain in the past?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"Perhaps a few times..."

[Croyd Webster]

"Why?" Croyd asked.

[John Hino]

"I suppose it was easier than dealing with what I was feeling," he answered shamefully.