Summer Break - Sometimes family bonding sucks

[Michael Asters]

The news had come in, and really, everyone was devastated.

Cassiel had spent a good half hour yelling back and forth with Exodus, then another half hour explaining to the State Council why he was arguing with Exodus (again), and had finally taken a bit of time to decompress and get his head into something resembling a right state. And, naturally, it wasn't working.

It wasn't entirely because of this, he was sure of that. It couldn't be helping, though. Their powers vibrated along the same frequency, when one was in this much distress, it wasn't unlikely for the other to feel it deeply at such a close proximity.

Granted, he admitted as he approached the door, that was just using mutant psychobabble to whitewash the true issue, one that would have anyone out of sorts: She was his daughter, and she was in pain. And there wasn't anything he could do to make it better.

So, focusing on his empathy, he knocked on the door, calling quietly through it. "Kyra?"

[Kyra Raphael]

"Go away." Kyra said, sounding choked, her emotions muffled by a mind bogglingly thick shield, made of layer upon layer, keeping her emotions in.

[Michael Asters]

And there was the telltale click of her door opening, and Cassiel walked in. He took his time, giving her time to adjust, shout, whatever she was inclined to do, as he walked through the dorm, and to the door of her room, making plenty of noise so that she would know he was coming.

[Kyra Raphael]

"I asked you to go away." Kyra said "You never liked him."

[Michael Asters]

"I never said anything of the sort," he said, walking over.

[Kyra Raphael]

"You aren't the only one who is an empath." Kyra said, looking up at him, her eyes red from crying "Not that it matters now. He's gone. Now I can find someone better, right?"

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel sighed, sitting down on the bed next to her. "Please remember who pushed you in his direction when you were looking for 'proper' mutant boys when you got here," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "But... yes, he's gone," he added, sadly and gently. "I'm sorry," he added, sincerely.

[Kyra Raphael]

"I just don't know what to do." Kyra said, starting to cry "He's always been there. Even when I was mad at him, or I wanted him gone, he was there. Even when, even when I almost lost him, he came back to me."

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel rested his hand comfortingly on her back, doing what he could to make this less awkward for her by not pushing things too much. "You know him, though," he said quietly. "For now, you grieve... because you deserve to be able to. Once you feel ready to... you knew him. Can you ask yourself what he would want you to do?"

[Kyra Raphael]

"All I know is that he loved me, and all he wanted was for us to be together." Kyra said, starting to sob again. "Thats all he ever wanted."

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel just let her cry, feeling out her shields while he smoothed the hair out of her face. "I know," he whispered. "Just let it out, it's all right."

[Kyra Raphael]

He'd find that her shields were strong, but brittle. She was making new ones, but just as rapidly, the outer shield was crumbling."

[Michael Asters]

He didn't try to penetrate her shield, but she'd feel his presence there every time her shields cracked, wrapping her shields up in his own, keep everything else out. Everyone needed to hide from the world at times... and if the only thing he could do just right now was to help his daughter do that, then that's what he would do.

[Kyra Raphael]

Kyra felt what he was doing, and stopped forcing her shields to stay up. Instead she dropped them, giving herself totally over to her grief. Which meant, of course, that Cassiel would feel every bit of her pain, every atom of the howling loss at the core of her soul.

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel shuddered, doubling over at the sudden sensation as he tried to sort it out within him. Reflexively, he put his arm around Kyra, pulling her over to him physically like he'd done mentally, as his own usual unshakeable resolve began to crack under the grief.

[Kyra Raphael]

"I'm sorry." Kyra said, not pulling away from him physically, but mentally groping to rebuild her shields "I didn't mean to...."

[Michael Asters]

"Don't," he said quietly. "Do you think I didn't know what was going to happen?"

[Kyra Raphael]

"Yes, but...." Kyra said starting to sob again, and letting go of her attempts to hold in her shields. "I shouldn't hurt you like this."

[Michael Asters]

"We all risk hurting like this in our lives," he answered, his shields closing protectively around her again. "And I can't leave you to hurt like this alone."

[Kyra Raphael]

"I loved him." Kyra said "I should have been there. I should have saved him."

[Michael Asters]

"That wasn't under your control," Cassiel said quietly. "You would have done everything you could have... we both know that. But you didn't have the chance to." He stopped, turning her chin up so she had to look at him for a moment. "That isn't your fault. I know that it doesn't feel like it... but it's not your fault."

[Chloe Grant]

"He wouldn't even have been there if it wasn't for me."

[Michael Asters]

"I don't like telling you that you're wrong on occasions like this, but... Can you explain that one for me?"

[Kyra Raphael]

"If it wasn't for me, he'd still be working for Exodus. Not running around with X-men."

[Michael Asters]

"Interesting idea. What kind of life would he have had like that? Do you think he'd have wanted it? The boy who was always kicked down by the established aristocracy in Genosha, staying there after they laid waste to a good portion of Genosha?""

[Kyra Raphael]

"He'd be alive."

[Michael Asters]

"Kyra," he said quietly, "It isn't your fault. It isn't at all."

[Kyra Raphael]

"I want it to be my fault." Kyra said "I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for getting him killed."

[Michael Asters]

"But it's not," he said gently. "You don't have anything to make up for."

[Kyra Raphael]

"Daniel is dead, because I didn't save him, because of choices I made." Kyra repeated.

[Michael Asters]

"So you decided who was going to be in what ship?"