May 27th: Under a nice tree.

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Well, zat is a very big question. It is somezing that people have been studying for years. We even have entire sciences devoted to trying to answer zat and elements of it; psychology, philosophy, biology, sociology... oh I am certain I am forgetting some of zem. Ze answer is simply zat we do not know yet. But one does not need to know how somezing works for it to occur, non?"

[ASHLIE]

There's a long pause while analysis programs feverishly scan all the info it has acquired so far and, more importantly, it's own base-algorithms.

"Analysis: It appears that you are correct. Unable to discern a specific combination of resource allocations in my core-programming resulting in self-awareness."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Zat, in a nutshell, is life." Colette said. "We can try to understand it and we learn more about it every day, but ze more we learn ze more we realize zat we still know nozing about."

[ASHLIE]

"Query: Then where is the logic in trying to gather more data?"

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Well, just because we can't use ze information now doesn't mean zat someone will not be able to use it someday. Humans, and machines, become smarter every day. Maybe we will not be able to understand ourselves ever, but we understand ozer zings along ze way. Many of our greatest discoveries have occurred by accident when looking for answers to somezing else."

Colette looked up at the tree branches thoughtfully. "And what else would we do? If we do not pursue knowledge in all of it's forms, what else is zere for us to do as a species? We would become bored, stagnate, and eventually die off. So really, where is the logic in not trying to gazer more data? Because it saves time and resources? What would we devote zose to instead?"

[ASHLIE]

"Error: Insufficient data to compile an answer."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Do not worry about it any more. Just zink about learning for ze sake of learning."

[ASHLIE]

"Error... Error... Recursive logic... Engaging systems buffer."

"I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't make the cut."

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette blinked and pouted.

"Uh oh. Did I break you?"

[ASHLIE]

"Statement: No, I am using a subroutine to compensate for buffer-overflow."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"What kind of a subroutine is it zat you quote vaudeville jokes?" Colette asked curiously.

[ASHLIE]

"Quotation: A buffer allocation for system stress."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"I... am afraid I do not understand."

[ASHLIE]

"Explanation: That is how it was explained to me. It does not appear to be working as intended."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Well, so long as it works I guess it's normal." Colette said.

[ASHLIE]

"Observation: It does not work. I possibly misinterpreted it's application."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Ahn, maybe. If I knew I would certainly try to help." Colette replied. She reached into one of the remaining boxes of chocolatey snacks and pulled out a hippo, starting to pull the wrapper from it as she kept the AI company.

[ASHLIE]

"Observation: That does not appear to be the most optimal form of nutrients."

"Query: Does your metabolism differ as much from the norm as your appearance would suggest?"

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette's cheeks flushed a little bit as the program basically insulted her eating habits. Something that most girls would find rather insulting, but it was something she had become used to.

"Actually, yes, it is. I require lots and lots of sugar. Also a lot of water." She leaned forward, looking into the phone's camera. "You can tell I am very different from my peers, even on a campus with students who are radically different from eachozer?"

[ASHLIE]

"Observation: While there seems to be a rather high number of deviation of what I have determined to be the norm the majority fits into those descriptors. As should be self-evident as the norm was determined based on that sample-size."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"So of all ze special people, I am ze most special." Colette smiled.

[ASHLIE]

"Analysis: Correct. You are among the top 0.1% in significant deviations from the norm."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"In ozer words, I am a beautiful and unique snowflake, non?" The girl giggled softly.

[ASHLIE]

"Observation: You fit none of the parameters for [snowflake]. Judging by my sample-size you are certainly unique, but so are most who deviate significantly from the norm."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Sorry, it is an expression. I was just being silly." Colette said. Sometimes she forgot that her conversation partner didn't know as much about the world as others did.

[ASHLIE]

Code: Select all

Analyzing [silly] modifier...

"Query: Are you experiencing system stress?"

[Colette Rosenhof]

"No, I do not zink so." Colette said. "It just makes me happy."

[ASHLIE]

"Observation: Curious."

Code: Select all

Removing [silly] from [amusement] sub-category
Applying fresh template
New category created

it scrolled on the phone's screen.

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Oh, I am going to make you so confused by ze end of ze day." Colette grinned, showing off her pink gelatin teeth.

[ASHLIE]

"Calm Query: Is that a threat?"

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette started to laugh. "No no no. I am just not ze most logical person you will meet today."