I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:43 pm"So," the director said as Will sat down across from him, "we've been seeing some great work out of you. You ever thought of doing infomercials?"
Issue 1 Downtime
Thursday, October 2nd - Wednesday, October 8th
http://bigdamnheroes.net/xaviers/
I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Page 1 of 2
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:43 pmRe: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:53 pm"What sort of infomercials?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:54 pm"We've got a cleaning product we want to pitch. You're okay if this is a little messy, right?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:57 pmOh god
"Um....what sort of mess?"
"Um....what sort of mess?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:08 pm"Just household messes. We really want to show the viewers how useful our product is around the flat."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:08 pm"Right, OK...so, what's your wonder product?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:11 pm"It's kind of like a lint roller on steroids. Everyone's going to want one."
"Here's the problem, though. Our pitchman is kind of a perfectionist, and the product has been leaving a few stray bits as we do the takes."
"So I suppose the question is... how good are you with materials?"
"Here's the problem, though. Our pitchman is kind of a perfectionist, and the product has been leaving a few stray bits as we do the takes."
"So I suppose the question is... how good are you with materials?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:16 pm"...So, I'm not the pitchman here, am I..."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:18 pm"No, sorry. We've already got him lined up. You've probably seen his ads for the Mega-Chamois and the Kick-Chop."
"Great stuff, really. 'You're gonna want me to kick your nuts!' and all that."
"Great stuff, really. 'You're gonna want me to kick your nuts!' and all that."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:25 pm"Oh! Yes, I've...seen his work"
Note to self-ear plugs
Note to self-ear plugs
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:33 pm"Right. So, what we need from you for this is you've got to be sticky, but not leave a trail or anything. The real product is silicone."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:38 pm"Isn't this false advertising?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:41 pm"Oh come on, now. What product performs as well as it does in the ad? Half the ads for food don't even use real food, you know. Doesn't work well under the lights."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:46 pmNote to self-avoid food ads
"Oh, well, this is all more above board then my last ad....let's...let's do this. What do I have to do?"
"Oh, well, this is all more above board then my last ad....let's...let's do this. What do I have to do?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:51 pm"We'd done a few takes with the actual product, and it just became obvious we were going to be spending too many hours trying to get those shots right. There was always a speck or two, you know?"
"So we were hoping if you got the material down, we'd get this in just a few takes. Mostly he's just going to be running you across furniture, a few times across the floor, and we've got a shot or two where you've got to get dirt off a person."
"So we were hoping if you got the material down, we'd get this in just a few takes. Mostly he's just going to be running you across furniture, a few times across the floor, and we've got a shot or two where you've got to get dirt off a person."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:38 pm"...
Fantastic let's get started."
Sigh
Fantastic let's get started."
Sigh
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:46 pm"Excellent!"
He grinned, and handed Will a hand-held plastic roller, minus its key component.
"I'll give you a few to get acquainted."
He grinned, and handed Will a hand-held plastic roller, minus its key component.
"I'll give you a few to get acquainted."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:50 pm"Very funny," Will said, shooting him a look.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:52 pm"What? I rather thought you'd want a short bit to make sure you've got the material down."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:02 pm"Yes, of course. I'll be ready in a couple minutes..."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:03 pm"Wonderful. I'll get our pitchman in here."
Grinning like a madman, he scurried off.
Grinning like a madman, he scurried off.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:10 pmWill sighed. "I'm gonna hate every second of this."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:15 pmIt was a few minutes later that he heard the voices approaching.
"Look, all I'm saying is that when I throw that thing at the wall, it's gotta stick! When it fell off the last take, I just looked like a schmuck!"
"Don't worry, Vinnie. We've got it all taken care of."
"It better be! This works out, we're gonna sell a lot of these, you and me."
The director came back in, his... excitable... pitchman in tow.
"Look, all I'm saying is that when I throw that thing at the wall, it's gotta stick! When it fell off the last take, I just looked like a schmuck!"
"Don't worry, Vinnie. We've got it all taken care of."
"It better be! This works out, we're gonna sell a lot of these, you and me."
The director came back in, his... excitable... pitchman in tow.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:31 pmWill sighed.
"Pleasure to meet you."
"Pleasure to meet you."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:32 pmVinnie gave him an odd look.
"...who's this guy?"
"Vinnie, this young man is going to be standing in for our product."
"...who's this guy?"
"Vinnie, this young man is going to be standing in for our product."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:42 pm"A pleasure, like I said."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:45 pm"...huh. This one'a those superhero types? You got Doctor Strange playin' my mop?"
"Something like that, Vinnie. He does good work."
"Something like that, Vinnie. He does good work."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:52 pm"We'll get this ad out in no time."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:50 pm"I gotta say, Frank, this is gonna be weird wavin' some guy around."
"Just give it a chance, Vinnie. You won't even notice he's there."
"Just give it a chance, Vinnie. You won't even notice he's there."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:55 pm"Believe me, it's weird for me, too--but if you're passionate about the product, this is....I mean, this is one way to do it."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:13 pm"Well alright, kid. Let's do this."
==================
A short bit later, the commercial had started filming.
"You can clean your home in a flash, when you use the Dash! Look how it takes pet hair right out of your sofa!"
One hoped Will was ready, as he was dredged vigorously across the shed cat hair.
==================
A short bit later, the commercial had started filming.
"You can clean your home in a flash, when you use the Dash! Look how it takes pet hair right out of your sofa!"
One hoped Will was ready, as he was dredged vigorously across the shed cat hair.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:14 pmOw ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
Points where points are due, though, it WAS working.
Points where points are due, though, it WAS working.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:20 pm"Spilled cereal!"
Roll, roll, roll...
"Even use it on your husband!"
Will was applied liberally to a sweaty, apparently napping man.
"And get this! The Dash is slippery when wet..."
Will was rinsed under the faucet, then dried off on a towel.
"...but sticky when dry! Check this out!"
Will was flung with some vehemence at the frame of the set's kitchen window.
Roll, roll, roll...
"Even use it on your husband!"
Will was applied liberally to a sweaty, apparently napping man.
"And get this! The Dash is slippery when wet..."
Will was rinsed under the faucet, then dried off on a towel.
"...but sticky when dry! Check this out!"
Will was flung with some vehemence at the frame of the set's kitchen window.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:23 pm"Ugh!" Will said, aloud, at the impact.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:29 pm"CUT!" The director yelled.
"What just happened here? Did you... did you just say 'Ugh' while we're filming?" Vinnie asked.
"What just happened here? Did you... did you just say 'Ugh' while we're filming?" Vinnie asked.
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:31 pm"Sorry, sorry...knocked the, uh, wind out of me..."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:32 pm"What, my danged lint brush has lungs?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:34 pm"Not exactly! Actually, there's this interesting article coming out..."
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:39 pm"Look, kid, I just wanna be able to show the viewers that once the product is dry, it'll stick to the wall. I mean, I don't wanna hurt you or nothing, but it's gotta look good, right?"
Re: I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:44 pm"Sorry, I was just...unprepared."