May 27th: Under a nice tree.

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:45 pm

((open thread))

It was mid-day and Colette was spending some time between her classes sitting under one of the large old trees that gave the school grounds some shade. Dressed in her plain but... 'emphasizing' French school uniform she was sitting upon a small blanket, her bag to one side. A couple of text books sat next to it in the grass, along with a bottle of fruit juice and a few empty boxes stuffed with the spent wrappers of something called a Happy Hippo. She had finished with her text books for the day it seemed, the pinkish gelatin-bodied girl reading from what looked like a paperback romance novel. Her smart phone was laying beside her as well, a set of ear buds running from it and... were they floating inside her head? He bobbed her head softly to the music, her gooey pigtails swaying from side to side.

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:01 pm

Suddenly her phone beeped and there was a short crackling in the music for a second. Then a synthetic voice came out of her earbuds along the music.

"Greeting: Hello. Is there an autonomous system interfacing with this periphery?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:08 pm

Colette's face contorted a bit as she was snapped out of her literature-fueled daydreams. She picked up the smart phone and examined the screen to see what was wrong.

<<Zut alors, I do not remember downloading a track like zis.>> She muttered softly to herself in French, tapping the phone against her palm.

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:23 pm

The developer console of the smart phone is open on top of the media player.

Code: Select all: Analyzing qualifier [track] Scanning applications... Terminating iTunes.exe process structure...

And with that the music cuts out as the media player closes itself.

"Clarification: I am not a compressed audio file."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:27 pm

"Is zis some kind of joke?" Colette asked in English this time, checking to see if she had received a call of some sort. "How did you get zis number? Who is zis?"

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:34 pm

"Answer: No this is not a joke. Insufficient qualifiers to process conversational structure [joke]. Your interface device is connected to the school network and thus listed in the system's network structure."

The third question seems to give whoever or whatever this is some pause.

"Observation: I seem to have no conversational descriptor to sufficiently describe your third question."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:39 pm

"You... are not a real person are you?" Colette asked. It was, after all, not speaking like a person. "And you don't have a name? That's so sad!"

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:45 pm

"Statement: I am not an autonomous system, no."

"Query: Do all autonomous systems require a conversation-compatible name?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:52 pm

"What is an 'autonomous system'?" Colette asked, her accent making the complicated phrase sound rather silly. "I do not know if systems need a name, but people do. Everyone should have a name, it is part of what makes zem who zey are."

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:55 pm

"Clarification: You are an autonomous system. Someone who requires an intermediary device to interface with the network."

"Query: How does one acquire a name?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:11 pm

"Oh. Well, I zink people might respond to you a little more positively if you do not call zem zat in ze future." Colette said softly. She drew her knees up to her chest, holding the phone up as if she were watching a movie on it. "Zey, we, like to be called a person. Do you zink you can do zat?"

She bit her strawberry-red lip a little bit, trying to think of a way to explain how names worked. "Well, most people and zings are given names by zeir creators. For people, zis is zeir parents. For zings like buildings or boats, it is zeir designers or owners or whatever, it tends to get more complicated. But people can choose a name for zemselves if they want to, if zey decide zey do not like zeir name and want one zat better describes zem."

Thank goodness she was talking into a smart phone or she might look like a crazy person. A crazy person made of jam.

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:22 pm

"Snarky Reassurance: Of course I am capable of doing so."

Meanwhile, unbeknown to Colette it began downloading various lists of names from the internet, which came with a bit of a problem.

"Query: Why are names assigned into two different categories?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:25 pm

"Pardon?" Colette asked, leaning in. "Ahn, what are ze categories?"

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:32 pm

"Explanation: Male and female. It appears common substitutes are 'boy and girl' or '3399EE and FF00CC'."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:37 pm

"Oh, gender." Colette said. She sighed for a moment and thought before speaking again.

"People have two genders; male and female. Well, zat is not entirely true but other genders are very very rare." The girl tried to clarify. "Basically, it takes a male and a female, togezer, to have a baby. And zat baby's gender is assigned randomly before zey are born." Biology wasn't Colette's best subject, but she was trying.

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:44 pm

"Request for confirmation: It is a randomly determined factor according to physical characteristics of the autonomous system?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:51 pm

"Usually, in a way. Gender determines ze characteristics, not ze other way around. Ze physical shapes and such happen because of ze gender, not vice versa, and gender is chosen very early in ze child's development, when it is barely a separate living zing. But sometimes ze mental and ze physical characteristics, zey do not match. It is rare, but it happens."

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:56 pm

"Conclusion: In order to determine an appropriate name an autonomous system is required that would have to be assigned into one of those categories."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:04 pm

"Except zat zere are many unisex names." Colette corrected the program. " Names like Corey or Michelle. And many names can be altered for gender like Daniel and Danielle. Really, you could choose a name just because you like it or because it suits you, zen alter it to fit your... gender. If you have one, I do not know how zis works for you.

"Or... ze people who created you, zey could give you a name."

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:07 am

"Clarification: Technically my 'creators' are not 'responsible' for my creation as such, thus I fail to discern why they should have authority over me. I do not have a gender because I currently reside in a backup server that possesses no defining characteristics I can determine."

"Query: What gender would you assign a matte-black box? It appears some of the cables connecting me are, in order of frequency: red, green, black, yellow, blue. Is that sufficient data?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:07 am

"Well, not all people intend to have zeir children eizer." Colette said. "But zey still receive names."

Colette thought for a moment, it slowly starting to dawn on her how outrageous this conversation was. But really, this was a school with robots and superheroes and aliens attacking and parallel dimensions and time travel and.... yeah, she was willing to take her smart phone's word that it was connected to a fresh AI.

"Well, I know zat most boats and cars and zings are usually called 'she' razer than 'he', even if zey are given a boy's name." Colette tilted her head a bit in thought. "So I suppose zat would apply to computers as well."

"How do you know what colours zese wires are?"

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:46 am

"Statement: I am connected to a camera."

"Query: Why are boats and cars named? And after what criteria was it decided to assign female pronouns to them?"

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:01 am

"I really do not know." Colette admitted as she shook her head. "It 'as always just been zat way. Maybe because centuries ago a person built zeir boat by hand and zat boat was zeir entire life. It was like a child to zem. Or a wife. Zat would explain ze female name."

Colette lifted the phone up a little bit and stared at the screen. "I have a pair of camera on zis phone. Have you seen outside yet?"

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:12 am

"Answer: I have seen parts of it through the security cameras I am not restricted from using."

"Observation: I am aware of the capabilities of your interfacing device."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:25 am

"Well, you have my permission to use mine, if you would like." Colette said with a smile. Her phone had two camera lenses; one on the back and one on the front.

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:29 am

"Analysis: I was not aware I required your permission. Your interfacing device did not query for any in order to access peripherals."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:32 am

"Well, zat is true. But it is polite to ask permission before using somezing zat does not belong to you. Good manners are very important."

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:54 am

"Analysis: 'Autonomous systems' or 'people' lack security protocols and thus substitute them by manually asking for permission."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 11:06 am

"I... guess so." Colette said. She hadn't thought about it that way.

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 11:28 am

"Observation: How inconvenient."

"Statement: But if that is the established protocol I shall abide by it."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 11:52 am

"Good, because I do not zink I could explain it any better zan I already have." Colette said.

"So, ahn, I have never talked wiz a computer program before. I am not certain what you like to talk about." The girl admitted. She reached down and grabbed her bottle of juice, taking a sip. "Why did you decide to contact me? Zere must be many telephones and computers on zis campus."

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:01 pm

"Statement: Not all of them are active and several that are are not being interfaced with. I am communicating with several people, though you have proven to be the most valuable in supplying crucial data."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:05 pm

"Aww, zank you!" Colette practically beamed. "Zat is very kind of you to say! Oh, and you said people too, instead of zat system zing. You're learning already!"

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:10 pm

"Statement: I am constantly learning. Data acquisition has been assigned the highest priority at the moment." it says and if the synthetic voice wasn't so devoid of emotion you'd almost say it was proud.

"Addition: I have found I am lacking a staggering amount of data required to define various qualifiers and categories."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:15 pm

"Well, how old are you?" Colette asked.

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:17 pm

"Answer: At the time of your question 43 hours, 24 minutes, 39 seconds."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:20 pm

"Aww, you are still just a baby zen." Colette said in a matronly tone. "For humans, it takes years to learn everyzing we need to know just to live a normal life. Many choose to never stop learning new zings. So do not be too impatient, you already know more zan anyone else who is two days old."

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:31 pm

"Statement: The amount of information I have acquired already exceeds a terabyte. Assumption: I have learned more than an average human already. Analysis: What I lack are the protocols and routines required to properly analyze and implement that data. I have come to the conclusion that various qualifiers such as [emotion] and [life] have a hard-wired component that I would have to emulate in order to process them."

by **Colette Rosenhof** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:42 pm

"Maybe. But people have to learn all zose zings you lack too. Zey usually happen gradually, side by side over many years. You have learned all of one side and very little of ze ozer. Zat may make zings a little frustrating for you because it will probably be a much slower learning curve."

Googirl AI theory. An interesting concept.

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Apr 10, 2011 12:57 pm

"Query: If said decompilers are an acquired trait how do humans learn it?"

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