Issue 1 Downtime

Regan was currently harassing a very frazzled sounding librarian who was trying to help Regan research something.

It was not going well.

"You really, really suck at this," Regan says, "Are you sure you're a librarian and not just some homeless lady that wandered in here?"

The librarian gritted her teeth and tried to remind herself how bad it would look if she killed a student.

Re-killed. Whatever.

"Would you two at least try to keep it quiet?"

"Why? Am I distracting you from rereading Fifty Shades of Grey?" Regan asks, "Bite me."

"You should being quieter in the library," the librarian said in a thick Russian accent.

"Yeah, I already told you, I don't speak Ivan Drago," Regan says, "Surrounded by idiots."

"I have to be finding something," the librarian said as she stood up, "Be right back. Promise."

Regan watched the librarian as she left. "Moron," Regan muttered.

"Please, that little trollop wouldn't know the first thing about 'forbidden desires'. You're just being obnoxious, that's all."

"If I complained about people being obnoxious, I'd literally never stop. People have this awful tendency to exist. It's fucking terrible," Regan says. She was obviously in a bit of a mood today.

"And they never realize how much they're getting in the way." Mallory agrees, putting her book down, not obviously aiming the remark at Regan at least.

"Oh my God, Right?" Regan says, "It makes me wish I had proper wrists, so I could slit them."

"Hey, what do you know about history?" Regan asks.

"A little. Why?"

"'Cause I think my librarian just bailed on me and I can't do historical research on my own," Regan says.

"Homework?" she asks, growing more disinterested by the second.

Regan snorts, "Yeah, that'll be the day."

"I'm looking for stuff to use to fuck with one of the teachers," Regan says.

"And that has you turning to history books?" she wonders, actually turning towards Regan now.

"This guy has been around for awhile," Regan says.

"Oh, the rumors about Sackville?"

Regan snorts, "Yeah, rumors. That's it."

"Alright, so what exactly are we looking for then?"

"I'm trying to backtrack through Rolly Polly's life and find something I can use to make fun of him," Regan says, "Preferably to the point where he cries. Because that'd be hilarious."

"A very sophisticated plan, I see." she chuckles. "Do we have any idea where and when to start tracing?"

"Ancient Greece," Regan says.

"We can certainly do that." she says and gets up, returning after a while with 3 books on ancient Greece.

The first two books? Well, they weren't as useful as they could possibly have been -- after all, Ancient Greece is a big time period.

The third book was a book of mythology, and there, it began to get a bit more interesting, as it dealt with the myth of Oedipus and the history of Thebes -- where Roland said he was from, once.

No news of Bion, sadly -- the name he had given Regan. Someone named "Bio" was mentioned once or twice, in passing, though.

"So, I wonder if that's a nickname or if the Greeks are just shitty at spelling," Regan asks.

"That's a woman's name." Mallory helpfully, if a little pointedly, supplies. "Bion is the male version, Bio the female one."

"Great. Roland is Orlando," Regan says, "I always figured Virginia Woolf was a hack."

"Sackville, hmm? How curious. I wonder how much else of that is true." she says and sets off to find a copy of Orlando.

She would find the Woolf section easily enough. But on the racks...nothing, where the books should be.

"Well then, I would say we're on the right track."

"Oh, for the love of..." Regan says, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Why is my life so weird?"

"I would say that being dead certainly is a contributing factor. And I suppose you could try calling him Vita and see what happens. Though I doubt that'll be enough to really hit home."

"Pfft, that's low level evil," Regan says, "We should get the school to go on one of those Woolf literary tours in London and really make hims sweat. Or something like that."

This is almost too easy.

"Somehow I doubt he'd show up for that, but good thinking!"

"Like it matters," Regan says, "Anyway, this isn't enough. We need more information if we're going to destroy him."

"Well, now we have a couple slightly more recent leads than Ancient Greece so lets see what we can find on Miss Vita Sackville-West."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

The Honorable Victoria Mary Sackville-West, the English poet, author, and gardener, led a very well documented life in England. She was the daughter of Lionel Sackville-West, who was in turn the son of GEORGE Sackville-West, who was in turn the son of someone named Vito Sackville, a ship captain and trader in the 1700s.

Vito was the spitting image of Roland.

"Would you look at that. I believe we've found our esteemed History Professor."

"Back when he had an even worse sense of fashion," Regan says, "I can't believe that's even possible."

"Believe it or not, his clothes used to be en vogue once. 40 years ago."

"Anyone wearing that just needs to kill themselves and save our species the embarrassment."

"My my, what strong opinions on fashion." she chuckles. "Regardless, let's see if we can find out whatever came of Vito Sackville and where he disappeared to..."