Issue 1 Downtime

Posted: **Fri Dec 06, 2013 5:06 pm**

((open thread))

Emily was standing outside of the hedge maze, staring quizzically at the entrance.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:00 am**

Will popped his joints as he approached. "Ah, good to see you...out and about."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:09 am**

Emily smiles brightly and sweetly at Will, "It is good to see you too, criminal scum."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:14 am**

"Undocumented scum. Difference," Will joked.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:21 am**

"You are right," Emily concedes, her cheerful expression becoming a blank deadpan, "A dumb animal can not be expected to be responsible for their paperwork. The fault lies with the owner. A heavy fine will have to be levied."

"You may have to be put down."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:22 am**

"...care to say that in English?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:27 am**

Emily seems to ignore him, "There is a problem. I do not believe there is a woodshed on campus."

"Or a shotgun."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:28 am**

"Well, there probably actually are both, because, y'know, old manor, but you lost me, like, three sentences ago."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:32 am**

"Are you saying I have lost your trust?" Emily asks, "You truly do not love me anymore? What of the time we spent together? That night you whispered sweet words to me? Did you forget all of that, Mr. Will?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:33 am**

"OK, given the implications of your parenthood, that's creepier than you know.

You're a bit scatterbrained, huh?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:38 am**

"I am...recovering," Emily says, "That is the word my bitch of a mother uses."

"I do not know quite what she means, but I have learned new things. Such as insults. And humor. Would you like to hear a joke, loser?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:40 am**

"L....sure, a joke," Will said, clenching his fist a little.

She doesn't know about things yet, encourage her to think for herself, c'mon Will...

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:43 am**

"There was once a Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a routine dental operation," Emily says, "His goal: transcend dental medication."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:44 am**

Will snorked with stifled laughter. "That was...really really bad," he laughed. "Who's teaching you humor?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:53 am**

"I bought a book. 1,001 Classic Jokes. It assured me that they never go out of style," Emily says. "If they are bad, I will return it to the store though."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:54 am**

"No, no, bad is sometimes good, when it comes to humor.

...sometimes people like jokes so dumb they're funny, in other words.

Puns are hard to explain. I tried telling one to a kleptomaniac, but they always take everything literally."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:00 am**

"Then they should have one of their hands cut off," Emily says, "They will learn quickly."

Emily's hand forms into a blade, "Who is it?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:03 am**

"No! No no. No. Joke. It was a joke! You told a joke, I told a joke. That's how these things work!"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:05 am**

"Like a give and take relationship?" Emily asks, her arm returning to normal, "Interesting."

"Are you giving or taking?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:10 am**

"It's back and forth. It's sharing. Sharing is caring, as they say."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:12 am**

"So, you do care for me," Emily says, "How scandalous."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:14 am**

"What can I say. After being involved in a fight in the lunchroom, scandal might be my middle name."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:17 am**

"I can see why you would want another one then," Emily says, "A single scandal is worthless trash. You want a pair of scandals."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:53 am**

"Oh, I can do that quite easily," Will laughed, shifting his shoes into sandals. "See? Two of a kind."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:58 am**

"A criminal scumbag and a flip-flopper," Emily says. "You are the worst person I have ever met."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:02 am**

"Not a criminal. Not a criminal! Just a paperwork snafu. Seriously.

And, c'mon, I can't be the worst person you've ever met. That's hitting below the belt."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:09 am**

"I am adding 'tries to get me to do things below the belt' to your list of crimes," Emily says.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:13 am**

"Not a crime! What do I have to do to prove that to you? I'm one of the good guys! Cap'n of the X-Teams and so forth."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:18 am**

"If you are not a criminal, prove it," Emily says, "I need your help."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:52 am**

"Anything. That's what friends are for, right?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:36 pm**

"Yes," Emily agrees, "I need you to come with me to the bank. We will ask the employees to give us all of their money. Then we will run."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:11 pm**

"See, now that? That's a crime.

Though I suppose I don't have a record to attach that to, per se."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:14 pm**

"Excellent. That will make hiding your body after my inevitable betrayal much easier," Emily says.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:22 pm**

"See, I can't tell if you're serious or not, but no. That's a bad thing.

I have ENOUGH people trying to hide my body, thankyouverymuch."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:36 pm**

"That is what I thought. Criminal scum."

Emily picks up a leaf, "...How well do you know my mother, Mr. Will?"

Now she sounds much less deadpan. Her voice is quiet and full of innocence.

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:44 pm**

"She's...a hard woman to get to know sometimes. She can be very private, probably because she was...trained...from a very early age not to talk back.

I like to think she's one of my closest friends."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:45 pm**

"Your wife was her owner, right?" Emily says, "Was she treated well?"

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:52 pm**

"Yes. Yes, she was---and we slowly helped her transition to this society. There are no owners here, no slavery. She's a free woman."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:56 pm**

"Were you jealous of her?" Emily asks, "I have read that it is sometimes difficult on couples when a mistress is introduced into the relationship."

Posted: **Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:59 pm**

"Other way 'round, if anything. We're...close. I think Sara got jealous we were spending so much time together."

And stuff

Issue 1 Downtime

I12DT: A Shadow in the Garden

I12DT: A Shadow in the Garden

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